ITV OG

One wonders why Michael Grade, executive chairman of ITV, was so embarrassed and apologetic about his network’s coverage of Everton vs Liverpool 4th Round replay on 4th February. Of course to lose transmission of a live match at any time is shoddy, but when it coincides with the critical moment of the whole 120 minutes it borders on the criminal. However, I felt the unscheduled diversion added an extra dimension to the viewing experience and this is surely what most broadcasters are aiming for when they pitch for sports rights.

For what was not the most gripping of Merseyside derbies, the majority of viewers were readying themselves for the artificial denouement of the penalty shoot-out. Indeed ITV seemed to have given up the ghost on a goal being scored after nearly 2 hours of football. When match commentator, Clive Tyldesley, starts discussing Liverpool’s impressive history in shoot-outs, having won 10 out of 11, it is a sure sign that the graphics guys are preparing the respective grids to illustrate successes and failures.

So settling down for the first ever penalty shoot-out between the two rivals, another Everton attack was meandering to its futile conclusion, and with a few minutes remaining the countdown was well and truly on to a dramatic finale. Little did we know how dramatic it was to become, nothing prepared us for what happened next.

From the ensuing action the picture suddenly switched to the FA Cup sponsors’ slightly amateurish vignette of a family watching a game on the sofa briefly before segueing into an ad one of those surreal ads, which you watch open-mouthed and then feel the need to check that the wife hasn’t slipped a Mickey Finn into your beer. It involved a golfer hitting a ball into a greenside bunker, which was populated by either very large sperm or the unheralded return of the Smurfs, who then headed the ball into the hole. Wow.

Next we were watching a man being punched in the face, which one had to assume was the Production Director getting his comeuppance from Mr. Grade. Whatever it was, those 30 seconds contained more action than the previous 118 minutes from Goodison Park.

Just as I considered how this really was more entertaining than the match, then we were transported back to the charmingly named, Dan Gosling being mobbed by his teammates. We were not sure what the young Devonian had done to merit such approbation but it kept the televisual rollercoaster ride going for a few more seconds.

The conspiracy theorists might argue that some bright spark at ITV had decided to pep up the coverage with a mixture of fun and frolics whilst slipping in a few ads to bolster the sparse coffers. So maybe Grade should not conduct the much-anticipated witch hunt but identify the hero of the night.