England's Great Escape - Part Two

It certainly makes for an exciting and dramatic diversion from the bleak midwinter we are currently enduring, but if I have to listen to any more last wicket heroics from G. Onions & Co. I’m not sure that my heart will be able to withstand the pressure. The euphoria of relief in England’s hairy escapology in the First and Third Tests against South Africa outweighs the pleasure in the convincing innings victory in Durban.

The crucial element in any sporting delight is the joy of the unexpected and when the result is not known until the last possible moment. However laudable and merited the Second Test win proved to be, the game had none of the excruciating tension of the drawn matches when serenity gave way to danger and potential failure with such alacrity that a loss seemed inevitable on both occasions. It is the strange and perverse nature of sport that the pleasure derived from two draws outweighs that of a convincing victory.

But none of the tense heroics of the late order batsmen or the stoic partnership of Bell and Collingwood would have been required if one of the top order batsman had not failed so dismally at Cape Town. Kevin Pietersen is quickly becoming a liability to this England team with his show pony (or should that be stallion) antics; his disregard of the team’s cause is at odds with his teammates. He is undoubtedly one of the most talented players in the world and can dominate any bowling attack when well established.

At the moment he is being picked solely on reputation and certainly not on form nor spirit as his contribution to the team in this series has been negligible. Maybe he is in the side to attract the flak of the South African public for whom he acts as a pantomime villain, and this then allows the other players to hide in relative anonymity behind his huge frame. Looking at the stats for the Cape Town test Pietersen lasted a grand total of 24 balls and amassed 6 runs. When what was required was crease occupation and accumulation he achieved neither.

He was the worst performing of all the top order batsman on either side in terms of number of balls faced (24), runs scored (6) and average (3) over this test. In fact he was the worst performing batsman in all of these categories for the whole England side apart from one area – Onions faced only 20 balls but the big difference was the No.11 was not dismissed in either innings, showing admirable grit and application.

So if the final test match in Johannesburg goes to the wire I know who I would want to be at the crease if the game needs saving and we need the right mixture of character, spirit and determination and his name is not Kevin Pietersen. Would the selectors dare to drop him? It’s highly unlikely but would be justified but that doesn’t mean it will happen. Maybe he is being used as a screen for Broad’s fancy footwork or Anderson’s ham-fisted handiwork.