Foster's Flaming Fire

Free the Pakistan Three

2011-11-03T14:57:00.000-07:00

When I heard that the three Pakistani cricketers involved in the betting scandal had received custodial sentences I was shocked and actually thought that whoever it was told me must have been mistaken. Then when it was confirmed that all three had indeed been given prison sentences, I felt a shiver of indignation as disbelief was swiftly replaced by a sense of shock.

My immediate thoughts went to the youngest of the trio, Mohammad Amir who was was only 18 when the "crime" was committed and is now facing time in Feltham young offenders institution, which by all accounts is one of the harshest and most brutal of all UK penitentiaries. Surely anyone with any sense will feel this judgement is disproportionate to the offence. Amir is a teenager playing in a foreign country and has probably been encouraged by Salman Butt the captain of the team and another senior player, Mohammad Asif, to become involved in bowling deliberate no-balls.

How many of us, as teenagers, did things we knew were wrong but still went ahead and did them under peer pressure? If your answer to that question is "Not Me" I suggest you are a liar. But this was not peer pressure this was coming from on high, from the man who was issuing orders to all the players, both experienced and inexperienced. And for this, Amir is going to be incarcerated in a place which a BBC Panorama investigation described as "At Feltham in the last year there has been a murder, a teenager has hanged himself, and there have been numerous attempted hangings. Steve Bradshaw reports on the conditions that have created a culture of violence and self-harm at the notorious prison for young offenders."

Then I started to consider what these cricketers had actually done wrong and from the judge's summing-up it suddenly became clear that this was a case much more worrying in its severity and cack-handedness than I initially thought. To quote the judge's summing up "'It's not cricket' was an adage. It is the insidious effect of your actions on professional cricket and the followers of it that make the offences so serious."

More serious than criminal assault or fraud?

The summing up continues "The image and integrity of what was once a game but is now a business is damaged in the eyes of all, including the many youngsters who regarded you as heroes and would have given their eye teeth to play at the levels and with the skills that you had."

This is the most revealing statement, as the judge reveals the rationale behind these harsh sentences is that the age of innocence has been lost and cricket has become a business. Poppycock. The next time this judge is at Lords enjoying his lunch and hospitality, maybe he can spare a thought for the young men who are suffering the degradation and long-term damage of prison life. All this was revealed by that scion of moral fortitude The News of the World. Irony anyone?

Finally just consider the outrage if this had happened in Pakistan and three English cricketers had been found guilty of match-fixing and had consequently been imprisoned in Pakistan.

Phoenix to Ashes

2010-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

So it has finally come to pass, after a handful of ritual hammerings and humiliations over the last two decades England have stood up to the Aussies and retained the Ashes in Melbourne.

This is a considerable achievement considering the recent past and especially the last tour which ended in a whitewash of such epic proportions that it was surprising that Russell Crowe wasn't considered for selection as trouncing followed annihilation. England weren't just beaten they were pulverised, with nothing more painful than the Adelaide test when Flintoff (remember him) declared and we still lost by 6 wickets. This current side are not necessarily world beaters but there is no way that they would have allowed such a dominant position to slip away.

The crucial issue is whether the balance has swung England's way because of their excellence or is it down to Australian weakness. It is surely more the latter as most Australian batsmen have failed, with captain and vice-captain most culpable. Only Hussey has really made a positive contribution and his failure at Melbourne paved the way for England's big victory. The bowlers have hardly covered themselves in glory with only Siddle showing anything approaching consistency and he is not exactly Glenn McGrath.

England are a solid unit and their strength in depth showed when Broad was injured but his replacement, Tremlett was amongst the wickets and continued to make inroads into the soft underbelly of Australian batting. Also Bresnan proved to be more than up to the job when replacing the dangerous yet profligate Finn and taking crucial wickets in the fourth test.

So is this the dawning of a new era or just a temporary switch in fortune? Somehow I cannot see there being another quarter century before Australia start to dominate again, so we might as well revel in the glory before the phoenix rises from the Ashes.

England's dismal, but inevitable, failure

2010-07-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

Of course, we have all been here so many times before that it should not be a shock or a surprise. The England team enter a major football tournament with hopes of reaching the latter stages and we even dare to think that it could be 1966 again but deep down we know that is unrealistic and we will settle for a heroic failure in the Quarter-Finals.

But 2010 episode of this long-running saga was a horror show. England left at the last sixteen stage after one of the limpest concessions ever see. Forget Lampard's "phantom" goal, which could well have swung the balance in England's favour for a while but can you really imagine this team managing to seize control of a game, especially against a German side who showed how togetherness and skill can be natural bedfellows, whereas England seem to think that these two attributes are mutually exclusive. Mind you, one in isolation would have been good. Capello's team in South Africa were disjointed, untogether (there are a variety of stories circulating about friction in the camp but regardless of true cause, they never showed any unity or sense of purpose) and prone to costly mistakes.

The little Englanders will point to the foreign coach and nod sagely that this will never work until we get an Englishman, preferably with St. George tattooed on his chest, back at the helm. It has to be admitted that Capello made some errors, (he was in good company) but the root of our problems lie far deeper than the nationality of the coach. The coaching system in this country is a shambles - there are plenty of people going through various FA Coaching levels but they are being taught the same old system by the same old coaches. Having been through Level 1 and known a few who have progressed further it is abundantly clear that the English coaching system is flawed as it is one dimensional, unimaginative and ultimately not likely to produce good enough coaches at the top.

We need to take a root and branch approach to the whole area of coaching. Be brave, be bold. Rip it up and start again. But this will not happen as there are too many vested interests involved. The FA has never been a forward-looking organisation and one cannot imagine they are going to start now. To rid ourselves of all the conservative traditions and staid people who are holding English football back, will require a strong person who has the requisite vision and tenacity. A figure such as Henry V or Churchill. At least they were English.

Welcome to the Well Hung Parliament

2010-05-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

So after all the shenanigans and horse trading since the inconclusive election result lo and behold we have a coalition government, the first working coalition for seven decades. So what are our hopes? The doom mongers will bleat about the impracticalities of such an arrangement and it is quite impressive that they can remember what happened just before the Second World War.

It will fall apart in days, the mainstream media gloat and having already had their hatchets sharpened for months they are now ready for some serious damage. But wait should we not give this idea a chance? The majority of the population have become disillusioned by the grubby nature of politics. The expenses scandal was the tip of the iceberg and revealed an arrogant, money-grabbing attitude that prevails at Westminster. Respect for politicians and the political machine was at an all time low and the young generation seemed to have turned their back on the whole farrago. Apathy and antipathy were rife.

However, this election galvanised the nation, inspired by the TV debates people got more involved and the turnout increased which is a clear sign that more people have become engaged. The disaster of voters being turned away from the polls at least showed that they cared and however frustrating, those incidents highlighted a shift in public opinion to want to exercise their vote.

And now we have the Cameron-Clegg coalition and I hold out some hope that this may be the new way that we were all demanding for our democracy. The Conservatives have had to listen to the Liberal Democrats, include them in the cabinet and surely the balance between the two parties might actually lead to better, more considered policies rather than having an agenda forced upon us by a clear majority.

Politics is a dirty game and will not become clean overnight but there is at least a change of the old guard and we can all hope that the new model brings a fresh approach, rekindles our faith in Westminster and keeps the MPs on their toes.

Media hypocrites round on John Terry

2010-02-02T11:48:00.000-08:00

The level of hypocrisy that surrounds the moral storm swirling over John Terry’s head has reached an all time high. When the minister for sport Gerry Sutcliffe called for Terry’s removal as England captain one had to blink twice at the sheer audacity of an MP lecturing a footballer about morality.

It has got nothing to do with his ability to lead England at the World Cup in South Africa but according to Sutcliffe he needs to lead by example. MPs show everyone how to behave by acting with such impropriety, it makes your eyes water. The expenses scandal of last year which exposed a huge swathe of ridiculous and unjustifiable claims is not exactly a model of how to run a clean and fair democratic system.

Then of course we have those fine upholders of truth and decency the newspapers who have hounded Terry over his obligation to resign after this dastardly and despicable act. It is a truth universally acknowledged that not one brave reporter or fine, upstanding newspaper executive has ever cheated on his wife. And then there was Gary Lineker making snide comments on Match of The Day about Terry “playing away” when his own fidelity record is not exactly pure as the driven snow.

These boys know how to conduct themselves alright and that Terry is a cad. Indeed they are so convinced of the moral high ground that they have been waving hundreds of thousands of pounds to get his mistress to tell the unvarnished truth. Thank God for the fearless journalists who are so nobly bringing the truth to a front page near you.

Nobody can defend the central defender’s actions and it must be heart-rending for the victims in this imbroglio, Wayne Bridge and Mrs T. It must be especially hard to accept as this is being splashed across the pages of newspapers up and down the country but the truth must out.

It would seem hard to outdo the cant that so many have been involved with but someone got pretty close on the 5 Live 606 phone-in on Saturday night. A Liverpool fan phoned to register her moral outrage at the actions of the English captain. The very minimum that was required, she argued, was that Terry should not be able to wear the captain’s armband for his country ever again.

So this harpie must have thought that when her beloved club captain Stephen Gerrard was seen on cctv punching a man repeatedly in the face, that this was conduct acceptable in a man of authority. True, Gerrard was acquitted but the evidence of the assault was still there for all to see and the legal niceties of provocation and circumstance do not disguise a cowardly and vicious assault.

Clearly, in this woman’s eyes, it is just fine and dandy compared to a spot of infidelity. The concern is that so many people side with her and the country’s moral compass is spinning wildly out of control. What is worst is the attitude of the media and the establishment.

Eagles' ruffled feathers

2010-01-27T12:43:00.000-08:00

It’s at times like these that I really regret our nickname. For subeditors it’s a heaven sent gift to be able to indulge in endless wordplay with Eagles, if it’s not “feathers ruffled” it’s “falls prey” and there’s always the classic “not so golden”. Those subs have been honing their fine art for a few months now as, after a succession of missed or late payments to the players, there was an inevitability over disappearing down the administration plughole.

Indeed the writing has been on the wall for a lot longer, when Simon “Tango skin” Jordan announced he wanted to get out of the club over a year ago, the only place we were heading to was the accountants’ offices, not the Premiership. Being a fan who fears the worst earlier in the season I had taken to deducting 10 points from our total and seeing where it left us in the table. Then I stupidly, naively stopped this practice as 2010 came along, thinking we’ve managed to sail through those choppy waters and now had arrived in a calmer environment.

So when my wife turned to me in the car and asked gravely whether I had been listening to the news recently, I feared another humanitarian disaster or some terrible terrorist act. Her sombre tones hung menacingly. “It’s Palace and it’s bad...” she tailed off but she did not need to go any further as I knew our fate at once. A ten point deduction was all that revolved around my aching brain and I returned to a mental calculation of the Championship table and saw us hovering just above the Plimsoll line.

It is quite a weird experience living in the post points docking world or PPD as it’s better known. Because suddenly, the teams you were worried about nicking the play-off place from their rightful owners are now over the hill and far away, and the radar has to be reset to the strugglers’ end of the table. So rather than fretting about Blackpool’s surge up the table, overnight that has become irrelevant and now Sheffield Wednesday’s renaissance is in the crosshairs.

But I managed to console myself that at least the timing of this draconian measure was ok. How much better it is to take it on the chin mid-season when you have a) a points tally to deduct from and b) there is time left in the season to repair some of the damage. So rather than face the start of the season playing catch-up or be docked at the end where there is no room for manoeuvre, we now just have a mountain to climb wearing slippers and a flimsy t-shirt. Brilliant.

To make matters worse if that is possible, I have been successfully luring my 8 year-old son into the ways of Selhurst Park. He knows that it’s a rollercoaster ride and there are bad days and then slightly less bad days but when I tried to explain to him the concept of administration and the finer points of the accountancy art (which to be fair is a slightly dark and mysterious one to me) he started to wince. Then when I had finished my meandering drivel on our financial and league position impoverishment, he looked at me wisely and summed it up in a few succinct words. “So we lost then.” I couldn’t have put it better myself and I tried.

Man United top, but for how long?

2010-01-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

So after disposing of Hull 4-0, Manchester United stand top of the Premiership as of late January. Plus ca change. Well actually, this may not be the normal order being restored, but more of a false dawn. Cracks are appearing in the edifice that Fergie has built and it would take a myopic fool to ignore the evidence. All the facts suggests that Man United are on the wane and the only way is down.

Is this the moment we have all been waiting for? Ferguson’s reign of pugilistic pestilence is beginning to unravel. After all we have been waiting for this epoch for many years now. Man United’s bubble is finally, after two decades of success, about to burst. The aura of invincibility has begun to show serious signs of stress. It could hardly be a more opportune moment to revel in the demise of the great leviathan of English club football. It has been a period of unparalleled dominance but one feels it is coming to an end, and coming soon.

Firstly, there are the financial shenanigans, which are plaguing even the biggest club in the world. The Glazers issuing of a £500 million bond looks like papering over some of the cracks but the debts are mounting despite increasing turnover. The major problem is the wage bil, which rose from £92m in 2007 to £123m in 2009, and there are fewer players on the roster so the actual increases are staggering in the harshest economic times. The air is thick with grumbling and dissension as fans express their disillusionment with the way the club is being run (into the ground?).

If the finances are in a mess then the playing side is not exactly rosy. Good players have left and not been adequately replaced. Between them, Ronaldo and Tevez contributed 87 goals in the previous two seasons, one can hardly imagine Valencia and Obertan replicating this and at the midpoint of current season they had amassed 5 goals. Berbatov is a classy forward but is becoming better known for his surliness than his silky skills.

But it’s not just the exits and entries that are causing concern in the corridors of Old Trafford, the squad is looking increasingly old and frangible. Giggs, Neville, Scholes are no spring chickens despite Giggs’ remarkable fitness there is only so much time left on those body clocks. Ferguson is struggling to replace them and more crucially there is no clear successor to Van Der Sar as neither Foster nor Kuszczak are budding Schmeichels.

There is depth to the squad but injuries to key players have undermined the quality – O’Shea, Ferdinand, Hargreaves (remember him) – have played fewer games than would be expected. There is an over-reliance on Rooney who is consistently brilliant as exemplified by his scoring all 4 against Hull. But he is not Atlas and cannot carry the rest of them on his admittedly broad shoulders. He looked exasperated during the Carling Cup semi final defeat at Eastlands and no wonder. Like England there will be a wailing and gnashing of teeth if he sustains any injury.

We have been here before and Ferguson, the master alchemist, usually pulls a string of rabbits out of his bobble hat. But the traditional January surge is not powering up and their sloppy Cup performances are maybe an indication that the good ship Fergie is listing. His recent admission that he is losing patience with some of his players is a rare and perhaps revealing insight into the travails at Old Trafford.

Snickgate

2010-01-16T02:45:00.000-08:00

In its relatively short life the review system has attracted a fair amount of controversy. With a few “no ball” dismissals missed here and there the pressure on the TV umpire has ratcheted up. And unfortunately, Darryl Harper has proved to be not up to the job. Having being moved out of the firing line after a poor on-field performance in the Third Test, he is now in the cross hairs of England’s ire.

In general I am a supporter of the system as if it works well it irons out any errors. However, it’s a bit more difficult to approve if it then commits further errors. Other major problems are that it firstly can undermine the on-field umpire’s authority and also teams can use it as a measure of desperation.

Hapless Harper has managed to make a right old horlicks of this in the Fourth test. How the ICC had the temerity to defend Harper’s Howler for not picking up the snick of Graeme Smith’s bat is one of those denials of spin that A. Campbell would have been proud. Forget who turned the volume up or down, it is an error and there should be a hand or two held up in acceptance of getting a decision wrong. But no, it was knocked back like a Boycott dead bat.

The irony is that they are rightly using technology to help make the right decisions but do not have the full kit e.g. hot spot, snickometer. The lack of important equipment is justified by the cost but that is pretty feeble. The mistakes made create ill feeling and take away from what has been a wonderfully topsy turvy series.

If as looks likely (at lunch on Day Three), England lose the game they will bemoan their luck and rail against the unfairness of the system rather than reflect on their inept batting performance in the first innings which will be the crucial factor.

The ICC have got themselves into a proper pickle as mistakes are being made with the review system. Someone needs to take responsibility but this is the ICC and that is never going to happen. After all the ICC stands for Incompetent, Clueless Clowns.

Bush Fire

2010-01-16T01:33:00.000-08:00

I always was under the impression that QPR stood for Queens Park Rangers but now I realise I was misguided, as it really means Quick Personnel Rotation.

One has to wonder what is next up on the Shepherds Bush merry-go-round. A tally of six (nine if you include caretakers) managers in the space of a few years makes Man City look like the model of stability and conservatism.

Chairman Flavio Briatore is not just content to be an arch exponent of revolving door recruitment but he is now bringing in some spectacularly new and exciting ways of jettisoning managers. Take the unique Jim Magilton school of departure. He pioneered the “Beat the living daylights out of one of your better players in the dressing rooms at Vicarage Road” style. An absolute classic.

Paul Hart has mastered the “I haven’t been in charge of the club for five minutes (well to be precise five matches Paul) and they get shot of me” shock to the system farewell. Followed by the original and never to be repeated “I wish I had stayed at Portsmouth” line.

Let us not forget, this is the same club that a few years ago pre- Briatore, a director, Gianni Paladini had a falling out with a major shareholder, David Morris. Mr. Morris then took the only sensible option left by getting a gang of “associates” to pull a gun on said director. Although it wasn’t that sensible as he took his action on a matchday when there were approximately 250 policemen in the vicinity.

One wonders who is next in line for the vacant manager’s seat, how long they might last and perhaps most intriguingly what novel twist in leaving Loftus Road Signior Briatore will conjure up this time round. Whatever happens it will be worth watching. QPR aka Quite Pathetic Really.

Hicks Tricks Ricks

2010-01-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

Hicks Junior was clearly absent when the customer care seminar was held at Anfield. If he had been there he might have picked up a couple of do’s and dont’s. In the latter category calling a supporter fuckface would have been fairly high up the list. He also must have missed the bit about “the customer is always right” and treat everyone with due respect.

The Hicks family were not exactly flavour of the month on Merseyside beforehand and young Hicks has not helped their cause. One can only shiver at the reaction of a Shankly or Paisley to such crass insensitivity, stupidity, idiocy. Such a situation would have been inconceivable a few decades when football club board members were at best anonymous, and only the chairman had any visibility.

So the new world order in English football sees more and more high profile foreign raiders muscling in on a game that used to be the preserve of the working class fans and middle class owners. Only Randy Lerner, the wonderfully named but low key, Aston Villa chairman has managed to make a positive impact compared to the debt-guzzling Glazers or the ham-fisted Hicks.

But in the end does it really matter who owns our club? Of course ownership doesn’t matter per se but as finances play an increasingly bigger part in the running of the clubs, then the liquidity and leverage quotients do begin to creep into pre-match chat in the pubs around Fratton Park and beyond.

So now we have reached the point where balance sheets mean more than clean sheets then maybe it’s time, as Hicks Jnr PR might have put it, to tell football “to go to hell”.

England's Great Escape - Part Two

2010-01-08T00:04:00.000-08:00

It certainly makes for an exciting and dramatic diversion from the bleak midwinter we are currently enduring, but if I have to listen to any more last wicket heroics from G. Onions & Co. I’m not sure that my heart will be able to withstand the pressure. The euphoria of relief in England’s hairy escapology in the First and Third Tests against South Africa outweighs the pleasure in the convincing innings victory in Durban.

The crucial element in any sporting delight is the joy of the unexpected and when the result is not known until the last possible moment. However laudable and merited the Second Test win proved to be, the game had none of the excruciating tension of the drawn matches when serenity gave way to danger and potential failure with such alacrity that a loss seemed inevitable on both occasions. It is the strange and perverse nature of sport that the pleasure derived from two draws outweighs that of a convincing victory.

But none of the tense heroics of the late order batsmen or the stoic partnership of Bell and Collingwood would have been required if one of the top order batsman had not failed so dismally at Cape Town. Kevin Pietersen is quickly becoming a liability to this England team with his show pony (or should that be stallion) antics; his disregard of the team’s cause is at odds with his teammates. He is undoubtedly one of the most talented players in the world and can dominate any bowling attack when well established.

At the moment he is being picked solely on reputation and certainly not on form nor spirit as his contribution to the team in this series has been negligible. Maybe he is in the side to attract the flak of the South African public for whom he acts as a pantomime villain, and this then allows the other players to hide in relative anonymity behind his huge frame. Looking at the stats for the Cape Town test Pietersen lasted a grand total of 24 balls and amassed 6 runs. When what was required was crease occupation and accumulation he achieved neither.

He was the worst performing of all the top order batsman on either side in terms of number of balls faced (24), runs scored (6) and average (3) over this test. In fact he was the worst performing batsman in all of these categories for the whole England side apart from one area – Onions faced only 20 balls but the big difference was the No.11 was not dismissed in either innings, showing admirable grit and application.

So if the final test match in Johannesburg goes to the wire I know who I would want to be at the crease if the game needs saving and we need the right mixture of character, spirit and determination and his name is not Kevin Pietersen. Would the selectors dare to drop him? It’s highly unlikely but would be justified but that doesn’t mean it will happen. Maybe he is being used as a screen for Broad’s fancy footwork or Anderson’s ham-fisted handiwork.

(World Cup) Draw your own conclusions

2009-12-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

It’s always a bizarre spectacle, a World Cup draw. Firstly, there is a strange ineluctable compulsion on behalf of the hosts to make the most of this gathering of the great and good of the football world. FIFA apparatchiks and heads of state throng the hall, nodding and smiling knowingly whilst us outsiders scratch our heads and wonder what the dickens is going on.

Secondly, there is the seeming complexity of what is essentially a simple process, that of arranging 32 teams into 8 groups of 4. Simple maths and by seeding the teams beforehand it should be a fairly straightforward process but somehow there are layers upon layers of obfuscation which befuddle the commentators and general public.

Lastly, there is the crucial choice of hosts and guest ball-pickers, which is usually a mix of the obvious and then the frankly surreal. There are the people entrusted with showing us the light but more often than not, they succeed in making toes curl and teeth grind.

South Africa 2010 did not disappoint as the jamboree started with a singing troupe a collection of wholesome young adults who looked like cast-offs from a school production of Oliver! Nelson Mandela was brought in, by videolink, to convey his unique statesmanship over the affair, which he just about managed as only a nonagenerian can.

Then it was over to the hosts – French FIFA Secretary General Jerome Valcke and Charlize Theron, the South African actress. Being French, he kissed her on both cheeks and that got the audience into a ferment of sexual anticipation. In her red dress, Charlize waltzed on to stage under the misapprehension that she was going to be playing the lead in the latest gritty but glossy ITV drama about high class escorts, “Unhappy Hookers”.

Apparently she is South African but her accent was less Cape Town more Tinsel Town and she also pitched her presence on the complete lack of knowledge angle at which she was consummate, her ignorance of anything to do with football was masterful. Dizzy blonde does not quite cover it.

Tension built, not at the prospect of the draw, but at how many times the ball-pickers would kiss the lady in red. Newly-appointed football ambassador, Rt. Hon. David Beckham managed just one perfunctory peck, mindful no doubt of the mess in which Tiger Woods is currently embroiled. Beckham was the only European ball-picker and cut a slightly curious figure with his latest haircut, a hybrid of a Mohican and a Number 2, which looks as though it is not quite finished yet.

The others represented African sport at its best – cricket, Women’s football, rugby union - even a footballer and the world class runner Heile Gabriel Selassie. At one stage Theron actually had the temerity to tell Heile to cheer up! He looked justifiably bemused by this exhortation and did quite well in resisting any physical retribution.

And so despite the shenanigans of the ridiculous sideshow, the draw was eventually made and England were handed a comfortable looking group which Beckham paid due respect. There was a nice irony behind the fact that he could be facing the country that at first adopted him and his entourage so enthusiastically and then felt rejected by his dalliance with Serie A.

Then there is that massive sense of anti-climax after the draw is completed. The mouth-watering prospect of all the fixtures are beginning to be etched into our mental calendars when we realise that there will be an interminable six-month wait until the show begins on 11th June.

Of course, England are hoping to have the problem of making the World Cup presentation come 2018 if they can sort out the internal squabbling. A vision came to me during the South Africa draw of the whole Beckham family being the central fulcrum of a presentation. At least it would add some spice.

Beckham makes his mark as Crouch notches double

2009-10-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Peter Crouch has an impressive scoring record, having scored 18 goals in the 35 games. Over 50% is an impressive strike rate in international football and very few England players could equal that. But then you look at the quality of the opposition and you have to wonder.

The collective might of Andorra, Belarus, Jamaica, Trinidad & Tobago implies he is a bit of a flat track bully. Of course some would argue you can only beat what is put in front of you but Capello is too astute a manager to believe that Crouch can really cut the mustard at the top end.

Tonight against Belarus, in what amounted to a glorified friendly, Crouch gave England a good start by scoring inside 3 minutes but then they struggled to impose themselves on a neat but hardly threatening team.

Disjointed and disappointing, there was very little to commend the first half performance. One hoped that Capello would manage to demand and inspire a better performance form his charges in the second half. However, the second half was in danger of petering out until David Beckham arrived.

The crowd were suddenly enlivened and lo and behold Beckham set up Wright-Phillips for the second goal within seconds of his arrival. But as with Crouch one can hardly envisage the great bearded one making much of an impact against the top sides.

When Crouch scored again it seemed almost an irrelevance. Everything was a sideshow to the Beckham renaissance, he even picked up the man of the match award. Maybe Beckham will have one last hurrah in South Africa and it is more likely that he does so this summer than Crouch who will be a bit player at best.

World Cup Dreams - Part 1

2009-09-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

Fabio Capello has delivered. World Cup Qualification has been achieved with not a point dropped and two games to spare. England are the highest scorers in all European Qualifying Groups and they have clinically dispatched Croatia, their previous nemesis, with a steely ruthlessness that bodes well for the bigger tests ahead.

In just over a year, since he took over the role from the beleagured, belittled McClaren, Capello has instilled discipline and a positive, confident attitude that smacks of professionalism. What a contrast to the inept shambles of a team that he inherited which reeked of fear and was undermined by a shoddy amateurism.

The Italian could have hardly done any more in the relatively short time he has been in charge but he is extremely demanding. As a perfectionist, it galls him when his team allow their standards to drop. So even when England conceded Eduardo’s irrelevant consolation goal at Wembley he was genuinely angry, displaying his displeasure and frustration on the touchline at this lapse.

So far so good but Capello is not one to get carried away by this and it was significant to see how he reacted to the successful demolition of the nearest rivals. As soon as the game was finished he strode purposefully on to the pitch and shook hands with all the players in a business like fashion. Each player was acknowledged but there was no sense of triumphalism about it and the players were respectful. It was reminiscent of the sort of deference pupils show a schoolteacher. There is no doubt who is in control at all times.

As soon as the Croatia match has been properly digested and analysed, then the planning for South Africa will start in earnest. Capello knows there is still much to do as the evidence of the friendly games against France and especially Spain showed. England have showed that they have not shaken off some of the bad habits of the inglorious past and can still be made to look ponderous and incapable of holding the ball under pressure.

There are encouraging signs of shape and structure in the team and less reliance on individuals. Rooney, for example was not at his imperious best against the Croats, apart from a few subtle touches, but the team still looked good. England can truly be a team that plays with thought and balance, as was also witnessed in the friendly win away to Germany last year where we saw a second string side give an assured performance.

But as with all things England it is best to not get too carried away with the euphoria as, we know from bitter experience, what lies just around the corner. As masterful as Capello has been, he is not a magician and he will not necessarily be able to save us from our traditional susceptibility to the inevitability of the fall.

The last year has been about restoring the health of the patient. The signs are good but the omens are not.

Ashes ignited by Flintoff's massive presence

2009-07-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

The term colossus is generally over used in sport when describing performances but it fits Andrew Flintoff to a tee after his extraordinary bowling that wrapped up the Second Test against Australia at Lord’s. Of course the stage was set for Flintoff when he announced on the eve of the match that he was due to retire from Test cricket at the end of this series.

He was a man inspired when the tense last day unravelled and having removed both openers the day before he tore into his task without a moment’s thought for his ravaged knee and generally weakened body. He never wavered from his intention of delivering the justified victory.

From the moment he made the crucial breakthrough with his fourth ball of the morning when Haddin edged to the secure hands of Collingwood he employed an impeccable line and length, making the batsmen jump and grope. He was the only fast bowler who really disturbed the batsmen on a still docile pitch and the only concern was that he would not last long enough to spearhead the English to victory.

Afterwards he revealed that he had told Strauss that he would not relinquish the ball until the job was done and as it was Flintoff you just had to believe him. This was not false bravado, but the reaction of a sporting hero who was not to be denied on his farewell appearance at Lord’s.

Appositely he collected his first ever five wicket haul at the home of cricket and etched his name on to the treasured honours board. Naturally he won the Man of the Match and with his aura restored the Ashes moved up a gear from the dramatic rescue secured in Cardiff.

When he does retire there will be a huge hole in the England team’s armoury as his very presence lifts the spirits and the crowd. Nobody in the current set-up has that galvanising effect on the game or the ability to strike fear into an opposition as cussed and determined as the Aussies.

Yet again this match emphasised the delicious and delicate nature of test cricket at its best, and the anticipation of the next three matches is growing apace, and one can hardly say that about any one day series or tournament. We need to savour the feats of the Colossus of Preston as he will be sorely missed.

First Test fluctuates around stubborn Pietersen

2009-07-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

When will Kevin Pietersen learn? The answer is probably never and his advocates will insist that if he plays cavalier shots and dies by the sword then so be it. Pietersen himself justified the shot by saying he has been very successful with the sweep shot but that is poppycock. He will never become a truly classy test batsman if he continues to get out in the asinine way he did today.

In attempting to sweep the generally benign and toothless Hauritz from way outside the off stump he only succeeded in hitting the ball on to his helmet and deflecting a looping catch to Katich. He looked a fool and it is the fact that he is so talented yet so stubborn that makes him such an infuriating mixture.

It was an intriguing day’s cricket in Cardiff, which has happily confirmed that test cricket is still the only game in town. The subtle evolution of the first day’s affairs, where the game swung this way and that and then back again, was both entertaining and interesting.

The first session undoubtedly belonged to the Australians as the top three English batsmen got themselves out to injudicious shots. The pitch lacked any spite and the bowling was not exactly venomous, so England surrendered the advantage of batting first by some sloppy batting.

The flow then went England’s way in the middle session guided by the combination of Pietersen and Collingwood who provided grit and determination when it was most needed. Adding just over 100 and losing no wickets meant tea was taken with England in the ascendancy.

Collingwood’s lame dismissal alongside Pietersen’s shameful one handed the initiative back to the Australians in the last session, only for Prior and Flintoff to swing things back the other way with a rapid partnership which ended when the admirable Siddle got his just rewards for his indefatigable spirit when he cleaned up both of them just before the close of play.

The beauty of test cricket was encapsulated here as each team enjoyed periods of dominance, which were halted only for the initiative to be given back. Both teams will feel satisfaction mingled with disappointment, and the balance of play is such that it is not clear who eventually “won” the day.

If England fail to reach 400 then they will have missed out and given the Australians a chance which may be the crucial difference. Through all the ebb and flow of this match one thing of which we can be certain is that Pietersen will continue to be both impressive and irritating.

Lessons for 2010

2009-07-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

The South Africans must be satisfied with the hosting of the Confederation Cup, which has proved to be a well run rehearsal for the main event in a year’s time when the first World Cup held in Africa will begin. After all they have Sepp Blatter’s seal of approval and that’s worth its weight in Krugerands.

As with all rehearsals, it is important to learn the lessons and see if these can make for an even better tournament come 2010 when there will be larger and more cosmopolitan crowds .

The main points of interest, in no particular order, are as follows:

Spain are not invincible.
The shock defeat inflicted on them by the US in the semi-final came at a time when the Spanish were beginning to look so formidable that an undefeated run all the way to the World Cup Final was not out of the question. The fallibility against the US may act as a timely reminder that they cannot take things for granted, or may create doubt when the pressure is on and bring back the mental fragility of previous Spanish teams who flattered to deceive.

The ball will swerve more than at any previous World Cup.
This has happened at every tournament in living memory, so no need for the swerving quotient to slow down. I have a theory here that the ever-increasing propensity of the ball to deviate in the air is more to do with the shine of the ball than anything else, and each successive World Cup organiser produces a shinier ball because it looks good on TV, especially now with HDTV encroaching our viewing.

Vuvuzelas will be a continual aural backdrop.
Many people, including the players, have complained about the noise created by these trumpets. There have been many florid descriptions of the atmosphere but the closest I can get is that it sounds like a swarm of bees but unlike swarms this cacophony never moves, it just hangs there. The South Africans bristled with indignation at any criticism and are sure to insist they are around next year to create a “unique African atmosphere”. May be marginally better than White Stripes anthem of Euro 2008.

Gloves to be worn by outfield players possibly for the first time in a World Cup.
For those who become angered by the sight of players wearing gloves at Wigan in December be prepared for apoplexy. The tournament will be played during the South African winter and several players were spotted wearing gloves during the Confederation Cup. Danny Alvez outdid everyone by sporting a rather natty polo neck under his shirt. Cue comments about playing in Wigan on a chilly December….

Brazil look invincible
The tournament favourites may justify their position if they show a similar resolve and solidity come June 2009. They showed both sides of a class team in looking imperious at times and then vulnerable at others, whilst being able to score late goals and mount a comeback as they did against the US in the final. They have also unearthed a half-decent centre forward in Luis Fabiano who could carry them to glory. As you would expect, with any team managed by Dunga, they have a solid midfield which will hunt down opponents, leaving the niceties of the game to the full backs or the Kakas/ Robinhos of this world.

So the likelihood is that 2010 will be the noisiest, swerviest, coldest and most predictable World Cup ever. So when North Korea beat Brazil in the Quarter-Finals remember where you heard it first.

Ferguson receives a Catalan Masterclass

2009-05-28T05:25:00.000-07:00

As Andres Iniesta left the field in added time, the substitute who was about to replace him, was joyfully applauding as much as he was smiling. Like all of us, Pedro Rodriguez had been wowed by one of the best midfield performances of recent years. Alongside the equally impressive Xavi and the amazingly mature Busquets, Barcelona controlled the midfield with a deceptive ease that hid the superior technique, hard work and application of the players.

Before the match, much had been made of the gaps in Barca’s defensive unit and how the absence of first choice players Marquez, Daniel Alvez, and Abidal would give United room to exploit with their superior pace. On the night, apart from the opening ten minutes and a late flurry towards the end, Victor Valdes had very little to do. The back four had as comfortable an evening as they could have imagined, to the extent that Puyol and Toure were seen exchanging passes on the edge of the United penalty area in the first half, as if they were in a practice match.

The reason for their defensive comfort was that Barcelona pressed so effectively that United had to resort to either pumping long balls from the back which lacked both direction or angle or the midfield attempting to locate the ineffective Ronaldo and Rooney with hopeful “hail mary” passes. In contrast, Barcelona’s midfield trio kept possession by passing the ball accurately and crisply before waiting for the right moment to penetrate, as evidenced by Eto’s opening goal which was founded on Iniesta’s sharp change of pace and beautifully weighted pass.

Ferguson had no answer to the mastery Barcelona steadily built as they took control of the match and which they rarely looked like relinquishing at any time. It must be particularly galling for him to have to acknowledge the superiority of a 38 year-old manager in his first season. Guardiola was a teenager when Ferguson took over at Old Trafford and he has been a manager for some 35 years.

So much for Fergie’s experience and tactical nous, when he brought Tevez on as a second half substitute there was no change to the pattern of the game which had swung inexorably to Barcelona and his team appeared increasingly naïve compared to the sophistication of their opponents. The introduction of the talismanic Argentine might change the course of a game against the Wigans of this world but failed to ruffle the Catalans’ feathers. Tevez looked as nonplussed as his teammates within a few minutes of chasing around forlornly in search of the ball.

Lionel Messi, who was a constant threat with his clever movement and flawless control, rubbed salt into the open wounds with the free header midway through the second half, twisting in the air to artfully curl the ball beyond Van der Sar who could only watch as the ball sailed into the corner. Ferdinand was also a distant spectator.

When Paul Scholes committed one of his customary rash and spiteful challenges on 21 year-old Busquets we knew the game was up. All United had left was some futile, unpleasant aggression as Ronaldo’s simmering discontent with Puyol’s shackling ended up in a booking as did Vidic who finally got in touching distance of Messi and got some petty revenge.

To be fair to Ferguson and his players, they readily accepted that they had been out-thought, outfought and generally overwhelmed by the better side. Their expressions of grim resignation as they waited for the ceremonial crowning of the new European Champions, bore testimony to the undoubted superiority of Barcelona, the worthy victors.

Ferguson's flaws

2009-04-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

In the aftermath of the Manchester United Everton FA Cup semi-final there was plenty of predictable bleating and moaning. This is Ferguson Land. Whenever anything goes slightly amiss it is always someone else’s fault. So the responsibility for the FA Cup semi-final defeat was laid fair and square on the pitch, which was neither fair nor square.

True enough the Wembley pitch was not up to scratch and was inferior to the majority of Premiership playing surfaces, The ball did not run true and also it cut up quickly with large divots of turf appearing, so it resembled a practice ground for a golf tournament within the first 10 minutes.

But both teams were similarly affected and it was Ferguson who selected the weakened United team who showed little inclination to chase the win in extra time. Furthermore, Berbatov’s lamentable penalty in the shoot-out was down to his own special brand of indifference, and not the scarred, as opposed to sacred, turf.

Many people claim Sir Alex is a master in psychological warfare and often beats his opponents in the mind games. His brilliant mental destruction of his rivals, the argument runs, leaves them powerless to survive in the match itself and they are beaten before kick-off.

This is utter nonsense, there is no subtlety to Ferguson’s rants and raves, he is more akin to a six year old sans toys than a genius of mind games. To be wound up by such blunt and unimaginative posturing does not bode well for anyone who is entering the school playground in the near future.

My brother and Syd Barrett

2009-04-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

Playlist

Shine on you Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd
“Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun
Shine on you crazy diamond.”

I have never been a big fan of Pink Floyd. They were always a little too grandiose and over-dramatic for my tastes. The backlash against the universally admired Dark Side of the Moon had begun when I was a teenager and the Floyd were considered to be the antithesis of the vibrant sharp jolt that punk provided to us in the late 1970s. Such pomp was to be avoided at all costs.

I was only rewired into their music following my elder brother’s untimely death in 2006. At the funeral, one of his friends who struggled to speak because he was so over-wrought with emotion ended his short eulogy with a defiant call of “Shine on you Crazy Diamond.” It was a heartfelt and poignant tribute.

Then I listened again to the song and although it is a tad over-indulgent in its length, I realised that there were many parallels between my brother’s life and Syd Barrett’s, especially in the withdrawal from public life. The strong sense of wasteful loss is such that it never ceases to leave me both mournful and defiant. Barrett and my brother died within a few months of each other.

“Now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky
Shine on you crazy diamond.”

Umbro Mumbo Jumbo

2009-03-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Mumbo Jumbo

When I receive an email with grandiose claims the automatic response is a hasty prod on the delete button and a hope that nothing has lingered from the unsolicited trash invading my inbox.

However, this one was a little different. I was astonished by the sheer audacity of the opening gambit and was intrigued enough to be drawn into this world as it was imbued with fantasy and an utter lack of realism.

To give you a sense of this world here is the sentence that caught my eye and hazard a guess to what it might relate. “ The new ******* ***** is not an evolution of an old one. It is a complete new beginning.”

It sounds like a revolutionary new drug or maybe a radical approach to power generation. Actually it’s neither of these, it’s the fanfare for the arrival of the new England football shirt by Umbro. I kid you not. This exercise in squeezing more money out of cash-strapped fans is hailed in the style of some epoch-making instrument.

Beyond the attention grabbing, fallacious headline there is even more guff about “bringing together an innovative design philosophy with classic English tailoring.” Woe betide any player who allows any sweat to drip on this precious item, or heaven forfend if there is a trickle of saliva allowed to besmirch the classic English tailoring.

As a recipient of the email you are also invited into the lair of watching the shirt being designed with the players’ involvement included every step of the way. One can imagine Ashley Cole offering advice on the piping or Crouchy making sure the garment has sufficient elasticity.

Once you are lured into the clips showing how the new crest shows “substance and integrity” you know you have reached the final destination. Guided by the Senior Designer who rejoices in the wonderfully tailored name of Aitor Throup, we understand how the kit moulds to each curve of Rooney’s torso.

The big question which hangs over me after witnessing what goes on behind the scenes is whether the tradition of swapping shirts at the end of internationals may now be dead as surely no player will let go of his own individually tailored shirt. The title of this Mumbo Jumbo courtesy of Umbro is “Pride in the process”, but there is a more colloquial alternative “Bullshit in a Shirt”.

Winning ugly

2009-03-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

Bland and featureless are not words you would normally associate with the Caribbean but these are some of the kinder adjectives being bandied about in trying to describe the monotony of the test series with England, which is meandering to a close in Trinidad.

The West Indies will feel fully justified in their tactics if they do indeed pull off the expected draw in the fifth Test match to secure a 1-0 victory as this will be their first series triumph over a major cricket nation for several years. England were firm favourites before the series began so this should be considered an upset, and a boost to cricket in the Caribbean. But it is surely a pyrrhic victory.

The last three matches have been devoid of entertainment as the anodyne pitches have produced an imbalance that has seen a glut of runs, with very little in it for the bowlers. After the drama of the first test in Jamaica and farce in Antigua we have seen batsmen rule the roost. In a succession of long innings untroubled by either the pitches, which have remained steadfastly flat throughout, or the bowlers who have grown increasingly exasperated by the unresponsiveness.

This has not been engaging cricket to watch and ultimately will have turned off many more people than a series victory will have attracted to the game. There is no begrudging the West Indian victory, which was established by the destruction of the English batting at Sabina Park and has been deserved as they have used the conditions to blunt England’s bowlers in the subsequent matches when faced by large first innings totals. The obdurate last wicket stand in Antigua showed a cussed determination not to be beaten.

However, as cricket tries to fight off the rival attractions of football and basketball for the attention of the next generation, it has not helped itself with this mundane, pedestrian procession of batsmen scoring endless runs with barely a flicker of danger or excitement. So whilst a successful team can be attractive this may be a prime example of winning ugly.

Stanford scandal harms cricket

2009-02-24T02:14:00.000-08:00

When Sir Allen Stanford rolled into town with his offer of an eye-boggling $20 million prize fund for a 20/20 tournament the alarm bells at Lords should have been ringing. The essence of cricket is not, and should never be, just about money. Stanford's offer proved irresistible to the cricket authorities who grabbed the opportunity and the shame now surrounding Stanford's financial dealings reflect badly on the England and Wales Cricket Board.

The Ashes is arguably the greatest prize in the game as the oldest rivals, England and Australia, battle it out for supremacy. The series captures the imagination of not only the protagonists but also of the whole cricketing world, but ask a cricket fan how much prize money is up for grabs and the vast majority will not have a clue. Nor should they, as this is a sporting contest based on over 100 years of test cricket and not a "get rich quick" scheme.

When the Stanford tournament started, the main focus was the cash on offer to the winning team rather than the quality of the cricket. Indeed in the run-up to the match, the money was paraded around in a box for all to see which was as flagrant and tawdry a PR stunt as anything witnessed in a sporting arena. Never mind the sport, just drool over the money was the clear message.

The ECB have now cut all ties with Stanford following the announcement of the SEC investment fraud charges on 17 February. But, irrespective of the undue haste and enthusiasm with which the ECB joined in, they cannot now wash their hands of the whole affair and must carry some element of blame into the sordid nature of these events. Stanford has been vocal about wanting to bring an end to Test Match cricket, and in a way the ECB may have helped undermine the game in its pursuit of the Texan's tainted fortune.

Can Hiddink rescue Chelsea's season

2009-02-19T02:40:00.000-08:00

During the negotiations between Guus Hiddink and Chelsea prior to his temporary appointment at Stamford Bridge there is bound to have been discussion of what would be considered a success during his tenure. Progress in the Champions League would have been a prerequisite and a semi final appearance demanded. The FA Cup may have been targeted as the most realistic chance of silverware this season.

The Holy Grail of the Premiership may have been glinting in the near distance but can Man United really be halted as they surge towards consecutive titles. Ferguson’s team appear to have built up such an irresistible momentum and opened up a large enough gap in the process to have made any chase seem a forlorn and fruitless task.

With 13 games remaining for Man Utd, they can expect a minimum points tally of another 26 points, so 85 in total. For Chelsea to reach 85 they can afford to drop only 2 points over 13 games. So 2 draws or one loss and the game is up, and with away games at Arsenal and Villa coming up, chances are that the title will be heading back to Old Trafford.

The other major factor in Hiddink’s rescue mission is whether he can truly balance the joint roles of managing both Chelsea and Russia. Some will point to his success at combining club with country previously but his current task is much more onerous than keeping Australia on course for 2006 World Cup and maintaining PSV’s stranglehold on Erevidise. Also if he is in charge for only a few months, that will mean there have been 5 managerial changes in less than 2 years which hardly smacks of the stability and consistency that is required to win the league.

Chelsea have shown signs of inconsistency recently with too many home draws against weaker opposition, such as the goalless draw with Hull, which signalled the end of Scolari’s reign. No amount of Hiddink magic can possibly turn things around quickly enough to re-ignite a season that has lost its sparkle and one wonders whether this short term, expedient move will help the club in the long term.

So the best they can hope for is a runners-up slot and maybe the chance of some FA Cup glory. But one wonders whether that’s enough for the rapacious owners who may have sacrificed the future of the club for a quick fix.

It's just not test cricket

2009-02-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

Dear, oh dear. Listening to Sir Vivian Richards’ reaction to the abandoned test in Antigua was both painful and deeply sad. His anger was barely held in check when he was describing the people responsible for the shoddy preparation of the pitch, these “armchair generals have failed again.” Once the game started, it was immediately apparent that the ground, named after the greatest Antiguan cricketer, was unfit for the match and Richards’ anger was matched only by his embarrassment.

For the second time in recent history a Test Match in the West Indies has been abandoned within the first hour of the game. This spells disaster for test cricket as the game struggles to retain its popularity amongst the Caribbean youth and could be the final nail in the coffin for a game, which has been in terminal decline since the 1970s. The whole debacle left the players, commentators and especially the spectators forlorn, frustrated and flabbergasted. The shame is that the optimism that had been generated by the overwhelming victory in the First Test, is now masked by the sheer amateurism of the cricket authorities.

Many observers, after first sight, felt the pitch, which had been sanded far too heavily to compensate for the dampness, was going to be problematic. But nobody anticipated how disastrously under-prepared it was. After only 10 balls the game was up as the opening bowlers struggled to keep their footing. It is pathetic that there had not even been a trial run over the last few days and ridicule will now quite rightly be heaped upon the West Indies cricket board. Sheer incompetence is too kind a phrase to describe this fiasco. If the whole situation were not so disastrous it would be hilarious. West Indian cricket may never recover from this ignominy and in a way maybe the authorities do not deserve any better. Bring on the Beach Cricket World Cup, at least it would be better organised.

Capello's Spanish lessons

2009-02-12T07:49:00.000-08:00

Fabio Capello has vowed to learn from the 2-0 defeat to Spain. We are not sure how Capello’s mastery of the English language is progressing, but after England’s performance in Seville he might have to expand his vocabulary somewhat with insipid and pallid becoming useful additions. The second half, in particular, was more like a return to the bad old days of McClaren with aimless balls heading in the general direction of Crouch who looked out of his depth as he always does against good international defenders.

England started the game confidently enough with Heskey proving his value as a focal point and there was some neat but hardly threatening passages of play. Agbonlahor busied himself in the wake of his senior partner but never looked like breaking free from his Spanish markers who had an increasingly comfortable evening.

Unfortunately after their impressive performances against Germany, both Wright-Phillips and Downing were disappointing and neither offered much down the flanks. It is essential when playing possession football to have some invention and thrust down the wings, but apart from one jinking run by Wright-Phillips there was little on offer.

It has to be acknowledged that Spain are a pretty formidable outfit, now on a 29 match unbeaten run and buoyed by their Euro 2008 success they are self-assured and fluid throughout the team. From rampaging full backs through the artistry and control of midfield to the razor sharp strikers, there are very few flaws. Although inevitably much of the attention was centred on Beckham’s 108th cap we would do well to focus on the Spaniard who knits their play together so adeptly.

If you were ever perplexed why Fabregas, one of the best Premier League players, fails to make the starting line-up just observe the wonderful Iniesta for a few minutes. He has a quick mind and delightful touch which elevate him to a higher plain, exemplified by a sublime disguised pass inside Glen Johnson in the first which left the Portsmouth player very much dazed and confused.

As it was a friendly, there was the usual rash of second half substitutes but none had much impact on the tide which had been turning since Villa slipped the ball past James as Spain upped the tempo towards the end of the first half. Beckham showed he is still officially an LA Galaxy player by spraying too many “Hollywood Balls”, as Ron Atkinson used to describe those long passes, which look great but often achieve little. Lampard looked like he was pining over the loss of Big Phil and was so off key that he hardly passed to a teammate for 15 minutes.

After the encouraging signs of the last handful of matches, Capello now needs to accelerate the rate of improvement. He is the right man for this role and he will learn from the experience but he needs to be realistic about the task ahead of him. He has very little time in which to cement the advances he has brought about so far and then try to narrow the gap between genuine World Cup contenders, such as Spain, and potential also-rans like England.

Was England's Jamaican capitulation a surprise?

2009-02-10T04:07:00.000-08:00

So should we be surprised by the dismal performance of England’s cricketers in the first test at Sabina Park? The warning signs were there a few months ago when I heard Hugh Morris, the recently appointed Team Managing Director for ECB, speaking during the Indian tour on radio and all he came out with were corporate platitudes and management babble. Although he was interviewed for a couple of minutes there was hardly any mention of cricketing matters, it was all about structure and targets. This man had clearly spent too long burying his head in MBA handbooks rather than Wisden.

The second sign of something going amiss was the clumsy and inept removal of both Pietersen and Moores at one fell swoop. To lose your captain suddenly is disturbing, but to also lose the coach at the same time creates turmoil and disruption. Morris and his men must have missed out on reading the chapter in their management tomes on making succession a smooth and almost organic process. They decided, in their infinite wisdom, to go down the fractious and unsettling route. The whole furore over the loss of both captain and coach centred on who told tales and alongside stories of cliques in the team, it all began to resemble a pathetic playground squabble.

Through the whole squalid episode English cricket lost dignity, leadership and respect and that is not a basis for the “high performance culture” so enamoured by the new guard at the ECB. If this had been the bungling of the old style stuffed shirts we would have all nodded and wryly observed that’s what you get when you have traditionalists in charge. But we are in the modern era and there is really no excuse for such amateur incompetence.

Focus is another word/ concept that is so beloved of the new management and is often seen as the panacea to any sporting sides’ problems. Unfortunately, focus has been lost amid the squabbling and rancour of the weeks running up to the tour of the West Indies. Hazarding a guess at what occupied the players’ minds the first few would revolve around how would KP react to losing the captaincy after such a brief reign, who is going to be the new temporary coach, who is going to be the new permanent coach and when will they be appointed, how will Andrew Strauss get on as captain, how much will x be worth in IPL auction. Another major question was how would this affect chances in this summer’s Ashes.

Whilst these are understandable considerations in the circumstances, there was one oversight, which undermined the team and probably led to the debacle of the second innings in Jamaica. There was hardly room to give any thought to the opposition and such thoughtlessness is bound to leave a team exposed to underperformance. This lack of preparation was borne out of the combination of internecine strife and an arrogance that the West Indies were merely there as cannon fodder in the build-up to Australia at home. So scrambling to a total of 51 and losing by an innings should not have been a surprise to most, but one feels that those in charge are scratching their heads as they check their spreadsheets one more time.

ITV OG

2009-02-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

One wonders why Michael Grade, executive chairman of ITV, was so embarrassed and apologetic about his network’s coverage of Everton vs Liverpool 4th Round replay on 4th February. Of course to lose transmission of a live match at any time is shoddy, but when it coincides with the critical moment of the whole 120 minutes it borders on the criminal. However, I felt the unscheduled diversion added an extra dimension to the viewing experience and this is surely what most broadcasters are aiming for when they pitch for sports rights.

For what was not the most gripping of Merseyside derbies, the majority of viewers were readying themselves for the artificial denouement of the penalty shoot-out. Indeed ITV seemed to have given up the ghost on a goal being scored after nearly 2 hours of football. When match commentator, Clive Tyldesley, starts discussing Liverpool’s impressive history in shoot-outs, having won 10 out of 11, it is a sure sign that the graphics guys are preparing the respective grids to illustrate successes and failures.

So settling down for the first ever penalty shoot-out between the two rivals, another Everton attack was meandering to its futile conclusion, and with a few minutes remaining the countdown was well and truly on to a dramatic finale. Little did we know how dramatic it was to become, nothing prepared us for what happened next.

From the ensuing action the picture suddenly switched to the FA Cup sponsors’ slightly amateurish vignette of a family watching a game on the sofa briefly before segueing into an ad one of those surreal ads, which you watch open-mouthed and then feel the need to check that the wife hasn’t slipped a Mickey Finn into your beer. It involved a golfer hitting a ball into a greenside bunker, which was populated by either very large sperm or the unheralded return of the Smurfs, who then headed the ball into the hole. Wow.

Next we were watching a man being punched in the face, which one had to assume was the Production Director getting his comeuppance from Mr. Grade. Whatever it was, those 30 seconds contained more action than the previous 118 minutes from Goodison Park.

Just as I considered how this really was more entertaining than the match, then we were transported back to the charmingly named, Dan Gosling being mobbed by his teammates. We were not sure what the young Devonian had done to merit such approbation but it kept the televisual rollercoaster ride going for a few more seconds.

The conspiracy theorists might argue that some bright spark at ITV had decided to pep up the coverage with a mixture of fun and frolics whilst slipping in a few ads to bolster the sparse coffers. So maybe Grade should not conduct the much-anticipated witch hunt but identify the hero of the night.

David Moyes' masterstroke

2009-02-04T01:17:00.000-08:00

David Moyes will be named Manager of the Decade after his masterstroke of tactical genius, which he revealed to an ecstatic press conference this week.

“For the remainder of the season, Everton players will no longer be allowed to pass the halfway line,” the wiry ginger one explained. As a recognition of the dearth of fit strikers Moyes has finally thrown in the towel and decided to adapt a new system to suit his meagre resources.

The Scot went on to expand on the “No Way over Halfway” formation he plans to institute. “This will create a much tighter space in which Philip Neville can weave his particular brand of dribbling magic. It will also give Tony Hibbert an opportunity to test out his long range shooting skills.”

“Any attempt to increase the number of goals from inside one’s own half has to be applauded and David is going to be recognised for his outstanding contribution to the game,” gushed a Premier League spokesman.

When asked about his achievement, Moyes was wreathed in modesty “ Och, it’s nothing really. I just came up with it whilst I was in the bath. It was a real eureka moment.”

Importance of tackling

2009-02-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

The importance of good tackling is often overshadowed by the more aesthetically pleasing skills such as dribbling and shooting but many great teams have been based on the strength of their tackling and without good tacklers no side will succeed over the long term. Solid tackling technique is a fundamental attribute of building a strong team, and this is not something that should be the sole preserve of defenders or defensive midfield players, if forwards can master the art it will benefit the team immeasurably. There are many different situations where tackling is required during a match and there is no room in this article to cover each of these so I will focus on the key principles of good tackling irrespective of the environment.

As the main objective is to stop an opposing player in possession of the ball, the most important aspect of tackling is timing the challenge correctly. Good timing is based on achieving the right balance prior to making the tackle and judging the correct moment at which to commit. Too many players commit themselves much earlier than is necessary and this gives the player in possession a chance to evade the tackle. Good tacklers will wait until they are sure the time is right which is generally when the opponent is slightly off balance and not anticipating a move.

Once the decision is made that this is the best time to execute the tackle, the movement must be swift and positive. Any hesitation or delay can reduce the effectiveness of the tackle radically, so concentration on wresting possession of the ball is the sole aim. With the ball as the focal point the best tackle will sweep the ball away in a controlled and smooth movement. Only after the ball is taken off the opponent should the tackler now think about what to do next.

A common mistake especially in younger players is to go to ground and slide tackle which can be enjoyable but is often the wrong approach. Staying on your feet is an important facet in the majority of cases as this will then give options whether to pass or take possession forward for instance. Whilst there are times when the sliding tackle is required this should be considered as a last resort as ending up on the ground limits the opportunity to use the ball.

In conclusion, the elements of a good tackle are timing, balance, commitment, speed and staying upright afterwards. As mentioned earlier, all players should have the ability to tackle and with these guidelines should improve their technique.

Why golfers are confused after lessons

2009-02-01T05:16:00.000-08:00

It has to be accepted that golf is a complicated game and swinging a golf club correctly is not a natural thing to do. The technique behind timing a golf shot has to be taught and has to be practiced many times before a player can build sufficient confidence to regularly strike the ball correctly. Someone learning the game from scratch will have to process a multitude of messages, such as straightening the left arm or keeping the head down, which fill the mind with a great deal of information. This often leads to confusion and ultimately to frustration, which is the arch enemy of the golfer.

At whatever level of experience, taking a golf lesson will often lead to confusion because the golf swing is made up of so many different components and if we concentrate on one particular aspect, this may be to the detriment of another. One could compare the composition of a golf swing to a delicate cellular structure where each individual part has to be in perfect harmony otherwise the whole thing collapses. Taking a lesson usually gives the golfer a chance to focus on a single element of their game, but the key is being able to merge the learning into the rest of their play and here's where confusion ensues.

So, for example after a lesson the player has learned how to improve addressing the ball, and having perfected this he feels his game should now improve but then he momentarily forgets the best way to control the speed of theclub head during the downswing and his game suffers. It is difficult to accept that one has to sometimes take a backward step in terms of short term performance to get better long term.

Significantly, professional golfers probably practice more than any top sportspeople. Even the leading players spend countless hours on the practice ground, even during tournaments, and they are constantly tweaking their game to get close to perfection. Some professionals have had to experience a decline in their game to make improvements, a prime example being Nick Faldo who during his career remodelled his swing, suffered a loss of from but came back stronger in the end. If that can happen to one of the best players in the world then we can begin to understand the consequences for the amateur.

Ultimately, confusion reigns for the vast majority of golfers as they have to accept that the most probable outcome of taking a lesson is a dip in form which is diametrically opposed to the reason for undertaking tuition in the first place.

Why most golfers cannot score under 90

2009-02-01T05:12:00.000-08:00

Traditionally 90 has been considered the crucial breakthrough score as, with most golf courses setting a par of 72, it used to equate to being one over par for each hole. So by breaking 90 the player will have achieved a reasonable standard of golf and a consistency over the whole round which would be recognised by all who understand the game. There could be a few bad holes in the round compensated for by some good ones to remain under 90. In the modern era the par score of many courses has been reduced which should mean more people breaking 90 but this has not happened.

The main reason why the majority of golfers do not break 90 is psychological. With a fair amount of practice and tuition, most coordinated people should be able to break 90 but they fail to do so. By being aware of this target, the majority of golfers will start to worry about breaking through and once the mind is troubled by such thoughts there is very little chance that they can keep their game together sufficiently to reach their goal.

Performance at golf is influenced, to a much greater extent than most sports, by the processes of the mind. Technique is one thing and you must have the basics of the game such as a decent swing and good timing to score well. There are many golfers who are very good technically but their mental approach lets them down and means they will never break 90, whilst there are many less gifted players who will succeed because they have the right mentality.

All sports require the right mental approach but golf is a distinctive test which is unparalleled. It is partly down to the nature of the game, as an individual the pressure is more intense and the long gaps between playing shots can have a negative effect on the weak. One bad shot can derail a round that has been going well if the player allows it to gnaw away and everything can fall apart very quickly. The problem is you have too much time in between shots to think about what has gone wrong or could go amiss. Negative thoughts can fester endlessly in the long gaps in action.

Finally, the one area of the game which requires the most mental toughness but is often prone to doubt and hesitation is putting. As the most important aspect of any score, putting can make or break a round. So ask any golfer, at whatever level, the problem they most fear and it's not a slice or a hook, it's the yips, which is a psychological condition.

Probable winners of 2010 World Cup

2009-02-01T05:10:00.000-08:00

As the 2010 World Cup will be the first to be hosted on the African continent it is worth considering whether the climate will be a factor in determining who wins the Jules Rimet trophy. The tournament will be held during the South African winter so any concerns over the impact of heat on certain players will be limited. The average temperature during June and July does not rise much beyond the early twenties centigrade and is comparable to a Northern European summer. This should mean that there will be no great disadvantage to countries from the Northern hemisphere as has been the case with some World Cups when they are played in intense heat.

With 500 days to go to the opening match, it should be noted that there is still a long way to go even in the qualifying campaigns, most of which are not even halfway through yet, so we do not know who will be there for certain apart from the hosts. Interestingly, Paraguay currently lead the South American group, six points ahead of second placed Brazil with Argentina even further off the pace.

it is difficult to envision any winners coming from outside the traditional football strongholds of Europe and South America. None of the Asian, Oceanic or North/Central American group can be considered too seriously. The only realistic contenders to upset the duopoly of Europe and South America winners appear to be the stronger African countries such as Ghana and Ivory Coast but history suggests that they will not make it beyond the Quarter final stage, even on their own continent.

So we the likelihood is that the winners will come from the top Europeans, Brazil or Argentina. Neither France nor Germany seem to be rebuilding very effectively, both Netherlands and Portugal have always flattered to deceive at World Cups, and reigning champions Italy do not appear to be going forwards. So of the Europeans, following their Euro 08 success Spain will be full of confidence and England are definitely on the way up under Capello.

As for the two South American giants, both are blessed with some of the most skilful and attractive ball players in world football but they also possess the steely strength required of World Cup winners. There is very little to choose between the two but Maradona may make the difference as the new coach. Ultimately, I foresee a final pitching Argentina against England with Diego proving yet again to be England's nemesis as Argentina carry off the trophy for the first time since 1986.

Football passing

2009-02-01T05:05:00.000-08:00

It is important to realise that passing is the most important skill in soccer. Passing is the "glue" that links the play together and without good passing technique throughout the team there will be very little chance of building a successful unit. Naturally other skills, such as shooting and dribbling, attract greater attention and superficially make a greater impact on a match but the foundation of any team should be built around sound passing. A well-judged pass is often the most effective way of opening up an opposing defence or switching play. The four key components of passing are control, accuracy, pace and vision.

Firstly, before attempting to pass, the player must be able to control the ball. Whether in possession or striking the ball first time, it is imperative that the passer can deliver the ball to the exact spot intended. Such control is best attained by using the instep as this is the area of the foot which gives the player a greater chance of completing the pass. Most passes are made when the player has got possession of the ball, and once comfortable and confident of the target, he or she can determine exactly when to release the ball. The more difficult art of passing with the first touch should only be attempted when conditions are just right and the player is sure of their ability.

In attempting a short or long pass, accuracy must be the main objective. Once a player has picked the recipient for the pass he/she should decide as quickly as possible if the pass will be along the ground, which is preferable as it tends to be easier to achieve accuracy, or needs to be in the air. Then the player should concentrate on sending the ball to its target. For beginners, the best way to do this is to use an arm as a guide by pointing in the right direction then the foot should follow that axis naturally. Another principal consideration when passing is to impart just the right pace or weight on the ball, sometimes a pass needs to be hit quickly and crisply especially over longer distances. At other times a softer, slower approach is more suitable, as in laying the ball into the path of a teammate who is running quickly alongside the player.

Finally, vision is an attribute that players will need to develop with experience. To be able to look around the pitch and pick the right pass is something which often differentiates the ordinary from the extraordinary. This involves assessing very quickly what options are available and where the most effective pass can be played. To aid this assessment the ability to play the game with one's head up is crucial and all young players should be encouraged to do this from an early stage, once they have total faith in having the ball at their feet. The best players do not spend much time looking down at the ball, but are able to look around them, be aware of what is going on at that moment and then use their judgement to make an accurate pass.

Football's enduring popularity

2009-02-01T05:01:00.000-08:00

There are many reasons why Association Football (to give the game its proper title) aka soccer is the most popular sport globally, the most important of which is its simplicity. To enjoy either watching or playing the game takes very little time as grasping the basic rules is relatively straightforward compared to many other sports. There is no need for any expensive kit and a ball is all that is needed for a pick up game that can be played anywhere regardless of the limitations of space. From the simple initiation through to the most complex analysis of tactics, there is a multitude of different levels at which the game can be appreciated by all ages.

A further factor in the enduring popularity of the game is the pace at which it is played. Generally a quick game which can switch from one end of the pitch to the other in a matter of a few seconds, and so provides the possibility of a dynamic change in fortunes. However, the "Beautiful Game" can also be played at a more leisurely pace and this can be equally attractive as the ball is passed in pleasing patterns across the pitch before speeding up when there is a prospect of a goal.

Aesthetically, there are few more graceful sights in sport than a ball curling high into the goal. The billowing of the net that follows seems almost to be an appreciation of the beauty of that moment. Some may argue that seeing a player dribble around his mesmerised opponents, in a swirling mixture of balance and athleticism, is as magical as it can get. The truth is that there are countless expressions of grace and power, delicacy and strength, refinement and brutality within the game. With such a vast array of contrasting skills, there is ample room for everybody to indulge themselves.

More countries and people have embraced the game and have made it their national sport than any other. As the main exception to this rule the United States stands out in its reluctance to see it as a mainstream sport. The big four sports of baseball, basketball, ice hockey and American football seem sacred and cannot be shifted from their lofty perch. Soccer is so often regarded as a minority sport that college kids play and accordingly various attempts to establish a domestic league have never really made any impression on the national psyche. Is it because this is a sport that did not originate in the US or is there a deeper reason why Americans do not love the game so beloved by the majority of the world?

Beckham's return to the US

2009-01-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

David Beckham scored his first goal for AC Milan in late January against Bologna and sparked a further flurry of speculation that he may extend his stay with the Rossoneri. Originally Beckham committed to a 10 game loan for the Serie A club over two months during the Major League Soccer break. However, AC MIlan are sending out strong messages that they are considering making the move permanent. Adriano Galliani, AC Milan's general manager, has made it abundantly clear that the Italian club are interested in meeting Beckham's representatives to secure his services beyond the March 9 loan deadline. "We will buy him if he frees himself," Galliani says.

So will the lure of continuing to play with one of the biggest clubs in Europe and with some of the world's greatest players such as Kaka, Ronaldinho and Pato, prove too much a temptation for the 33 year-old? Firstly, it is worth considering why Beckham joined LA Galaxy originally. He has always maintained that the main motivation for joining the MLS was to generate a higher level of interest in the game amongst the American public. "The challenge is to go over there and prove to people what a great game soccer is," he said at the time of his move to the US.

Putting aside the financial implications, which although significant should not play too large a part for someone of Beckham's considerable wealth, a key factor is whether he feels that he has made a difference to the image and acceptance of soccer in the time he has been in LA. Looking at the attendances for MLS in 2008, Beckham's first full season, whilst LA Galaxy experienced an increase of 7%, the league as a whole suffered a 2% drop. So although Beckham might have been instrumental in creating a slight buzz in Southern California, he does not appear to have had too much an impact on a national scale. So in terms of his avowed objective of converting Americans he has so far come up short and the signs are not particularly encouraging.

When questioned, Beckham has repeatedly asserted that he intends to return to Galaxy. But in one of his latest statements he leaves the issue open to interpretation. "The contract and the agreement is that I'll go back to LA in March. I'm going to enjoy it (his spell with AC Milan) up until then and we'll see." The determining factor in his decision will probably be based on professional pride and where he will be best served in extending his England career. If he returns to the MLS he may jeopardise his chances of staying in Capello's thoughts as he continues to build his team in preparation for 2010 World Cup. Alexi Lalas, the former general manager of LA Galaxy, has implied there is a real chance that Beckham will stay in Milan beyond March and cut his ties with Galaxy. With South Africa just over a year away, one could hardly blame him for turning his back on the US.